psalm 63

I lost the notebook that had some things that I wanted to talk about this morning. I was going to go over some points of being an obsessed Christian, as described in "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. But I guess we will have to do that another time. Today I think I will just do what I do and try to encourage you as readers. I normally am just talking for myself, but maybe it will be better if I talk for you.

Psalm 63

"¹ You, God, are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
where there is no water.

² I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
³ Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

⁶ On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ I cling to you;
your right hand upholds me.

⁹ Those who want to kill me will be destroyed;
they will go down to the depths of the earth.
¹⁰ They will be given over to the sword
and become food for jackals.

¹¹ But the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God will glory in him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced."

I am so in awe of God. I think about how easy it is for us to get caught up asking God to come and be with us, when we aren't really doing any seeking. How do we get to a place where we are really longing for God like we would be longing for water in a dessert? The thing about water is that without it, we cannot live too long. And I think we can start viewing God that way when we begin to depend on him. We are so independent. We make sure we have all of our lives in order and we have plans B, C, D, and E if God doesn't pull through for us. Why would God want to do something spectacular in your life if you have back ups if he doesn't work out? He will get so much more glory if you are constantly depending on him and he pulls through every time.

When we start depending on him like that, he becomes like water. And those times when we are feeling distant from God, seeking after him becomes so much more earnest. And it is not making God into your source of life, it is more so realizing that he is your source of life. The reason why I think so many people are not joyful is because they are not letting Christ give them life. And in John 10:10 he promises to give life and give it to the FULL!

Moving on to verse 2, "I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory". Now there were several biblical men in the Bible who had literally seen God and been engulfed in his Glory, but I don't believe David was one of them. Maybe I am wrong, but I don't have the time to look back at that right now. But, when I read this verse, I just imagine David's awe of God. He may not have seen God literally, but he had seen the power of the Lord and he recognized that it belonged to the Lord.

The next verse is one of my favorites "Because your love is better than life, my lips will praise you" (verse 3). Do we tell that to God every time we pray and worship? No, because that is dangerous. If we say that, then we have to live it and it is hard to live with the mentality that his love is better than my life. Our lives are so important to us in our culture specifically. If I am sick, I spend as much money as it takes to find the treatment. We don't put ourselves in situations unless we know it is safe and we have a high chance of getting out alive.

I am so sick of playing it safe, especially as a Christian. If God's love is better than life, doesn't that make it natural to go to the most dangerous parts of the world to share his love? Isn't it natural to share him with friends even though they may leave you for it? I know I have become quite attached to this world, and it is so short. I should be living in God's love and that should be my focus and life should flow naturally from that.

The next few verses go on some more about praising the Lord and being satisfied in him. I wish my satisfaction was in him. I always want to know where I am going next and what road to follow, and I don't have satisfaction until I have a plan. But satisfaction should lie in the Lord and I should just let him lead me.

I have such a problem with how far I am supposed to go and where God will take over. I have attempted creating a whole plan and trusting God would join me in my plan, but it doesn't quite work like that (unless of course your plans are the same as God's). God wants us to join him on his plans, the only problem is that we don't always see his plan. But when our satisfaction lies in the Lord we will tend to follow him more easily.

In verse 6 it talks about thinking about God all through the night. I know, at least fro myself, when I am falling asleep at night, I begin to think about important decisions, people I love, exciting events that are coming up, and things like that. And then in my sleep, my subconscious dreams things that are in the back of my mind. Now when Christ is on your mind all through the night, he is taking up every corner of the mind. He is the thing you can't help but think about when you are drifting to sleep, and your subconscious is full of him in your dreams.

"Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings" (verse 7) You are my help. This is not like santa's little helpers, it isn't a helper with chores, he is not your hired help, God's help is a little different. God's help is a little more like when you are screaming the word help from a pit, hoping that someone can rescue you before you die. He is the ultimate help, delivering us from all sorts of deadly situations. And David had definitely been in many situations of those kind.

Then he puts himself singing in the shadow of God's wings. When you are under someone's wing, they are taking care of you or your protector. And being in the shadow of God's wing is a pretty sturdy place to be standing. And who could keep from singing if you standing in Christ's protection and care? In verse 8 it begins by clinging to the Lord. I imagine small children that when they are scared of something jump into their daddy's arms and do a death grip with their arms and legs. That is the kind of clinging that I imagine David is talking about. And then he says your right hand upholds me, so you are not trying to pull me off and set me back on the ground. You're strength covers me and makes me feel safe.

Verses 9 and 10 are some of my favorites. Those who want to kill me will be destroyed. When I am under the protection of God, anyone who opposes me does not have a chance. God will strike down my enemies and let the jackals eat their flesh. When we are confident that we have this kind of God fighting for us, it becomes so much easier to fight for him, and so much more worth it.

And in verse 11 the glory of the Lord always wins. Everyone who is in the Lord will have a victory while those opposing them will be silenced. And in the end that is exactly what is going to happen. God is going to win, so we need to get as many people as we can fighting on our side so that they may claim victory and not stagger in defeat.

i love you

Yes, It has been 2 days. I worked early and could not seem to wake up... I got out of bed, only to fall asleep on the couch. But never mind that. I will just go into what I have to say this morning.

I love you are 3 words that have been used very often for many different things. It is something that is tossed around, but sometimes it is something that is kept sacred. Our language is unfortunate because love is used as a friendship love, family love, spouse love, and love for activities or objects. It is such a broad term, so how are we supposed to use it.

People often say that the word love is way overused, but I tend to say the action of love is way underdone. Love is so much more than just a word. The reason that it is so overused is because it is not backed by any sort of action most of the time. I tell people that I love them daily. The kind of love that I am most often referring to is the love of Jesus Christ. He has filled me up with so much love that it just spills over onto the people around me. I would never tell someone that I loved them if I did not.

When I tell people that I love them, usually the things packed into those 3 words are these: I feel very blessed that God put you in my life as my friend. I thank God for you and often pray on your behalf. My life has been enriched more by knowing you. Thank you for putting yourself out there for me. I am thinking about you and if you ever need anything at all, feel free to ask me. Because I care so much about you that I am willing to help you at any cost to myself.

That is kind of a rough meaning. I love you is a pretty loaded sentence. I think it has to be if you really want it to mean something. I always feel like people should get what I mean when I tell them I love them and I forget that their meanings may be different than mine. Maybe when I tell them I love them they hear something like.. I want to have your babies... And that may or may not be true. But usually that is not what I mean, and if I do want to have their babies, I will just tell them.

I think it is important for me to get away from saying I love you all the time and start saying some of the things that I really mean by it, because that may get my point across a little bit better. Because who knows what I mean, or if I mean anything at all. I could be just looking for attention of some sort for all they know.

There was a time in my life when I stopped saying I love you to anyone other than my parents and I stopped saying things like, I love puddle jumping or I love tennis. And that was a time where I had to really think through whether or not it was okay for me to use the word as much as I had been. I mean, when I tell my husband I love him, I want him to know the impact of those words. I don't want to say it to him then turn around and say it to his best friend, even though they mean totally different things.

I then decided that I would never be able to stop using those words. I love loving people! Jesus went around loving people all the time, so I should too! I certainly don't think that I would have to say the words I love you to be like Jesus. But I am using that kind of love when I say it. When people ask me what I mean when I tell them I love them, usually my response is somewhere along the lines of; Well, Jesus loves you so freakin much and because he lives in me, I just can't help from loving you like he does.

Now, there are people who are saving the words I love you for their spouses and their families and such. And I respect that so much. Because then the words have a real power. When you say I love you it will be something really meaningful and solid. And I find such a beauty in that. It reminds me of my friend. This friend does not give hugs.... ever. And I love hugs! I hug some people before I know their name. But anyway, I always try to hug this friend and he never lets me. But one day he hugged me and for a second I just stood there thinking nothing of it. But then, when I realized what was happening, I got so excited! It was such a special thing for him to do and I cherish the moment it happened. And that reminds me of what it will be like for the person that saves their I love you's.

I just hope I can bring that same kind of impact and meaning to my "I love you" in my marriage. But I guess there will be a physical exclamation point that was never used before... ;)

If you didn't get that, I was talking about sex. Dear Future Husband, I hope you are reading this cuz that was for you! I might be giving out my words, but my body is all yours hun.

Okay I will stop talking to my future husband so you all stop thinking I am some sort of freak show. I just like to keep talking to my future husband so that I will stay pure for him. I don't want to be distracted by guys who may just come and go. That's why I don't date. It is too easy for me to give my heart away, so I need to be sure that my relationships are god glorifying.

I love you. It seems so simple, but it is so complicated. I just want everyone to know the love of Jesus Christ and that is what I try to portray whether I am saying the words or not. it is not about what I say, but how I show it. If I tell them I love them and then stab them in the back, I am being nothing more than a hypocrite. I want my actions to follow my words and I want to lift them up and make them feel like a part of something bigger.

The reason that I have to say I love you, I think comes from my gift of encouragement. Words are very important to me. I want the things I say always to make people feel loved. I think I love you is the simplest way to do that. But encouraging words always have to come from the soul to be really heard and taken in. And I pray that God gives me whatever words people need to hear to be lifted up and pointed in the right direction.

I guess that is all i have to say right now. If you are still reading, I want to thank you so much for taking a look into my head, heart, soul, whatever.. into me, I guess. I hope you will understand me a bit more.

²³ Peace to the brothers, and love with faith from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. ²⁴ Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love.

-Ephesians 6:23&24